Deserve

WAZZZAAAA BLOGIEE!!! How's everybody doing? I hope you're all doing great!
First of all, sejak ini masih suasana Idul Fitri jadi gue pribadi dan sekeluarga mau ngucapin Selamat hari raya Idul Fitri 1433 H, Mohon maaf lahir batin.
That day is a day we Muslims have been waiting for! It's like a day that we're born again.
Wish you have a great day celebrating Eid Mubarak with all your family member, like i do.

Anyway, pengalaman sebelumnya pasti sebelum dan sesudah lebaran itu sibuk kan? Yeah, me too.
Sibuknya ya paling gitu gitu aja kan... bikin kue, beres-beres rumah, jalan-jalan beli baju lebaran, packing buat yang mudik dan lain-lain.

Even though so, i like being busy sometimes. It keeps YOU out of my mind.

Disela-sela kesibukan itu, herannya masih aja gua ngerasa ga tenang. I felt like.....i don't know i can't even explain that.
Have you ever felt like you can't do anything right? You can't think straight because of one thing on your mind? The worse is, you can't tell anyone about it.
It's just......you feel so insecure.

Terserah kalo mau dibilang lebay, tapi gara-gara ini gue sampe ngelamun, bingung mau ngapain. Ya mau gimana coba? Ngelakuin sesuatu kalo ada yang ngeganjel di pikiran kan ga bisa sempurna apa yang lo lakuin itu.
Maybe everyone sees me the way i use to act, smile, laughing and easy going. But deep inside is totally the opposite thing. Even i try everything to let it go, it just won't go.
I keep wondering why do i have to feel this way
Feel to have feeling for someone.

Puncaknya, karena ini harus gue luapkan, gue membuat sebuah 'poetry'
Tadinya, gue berniat untuk bilang ini lirik lagu, karena jaman SMP dulu gue pernah nulis sebuah lagu. Tapi setelah gue pertimbangkan lagi, poetry lah yang paling tepat.
Ya gue ga tau sih syarat-syarat untuk membuat sebuah poetry yang baik dan benar kaya apa, but i think i just write down what i'm feeling.

Here's the poetry i wrote, please kindly check it out!


Deserve

I watch everyone's having fun
I watch people around me have the time of their life
I watch my friend's happy
I watch them all with someone they love, and love them

Is it me?
Is it only me that doesn't deserve anything to be happy?
What do i deserve then in this world?
Or perhaps.....who i deserve in this world?

Why it takes me so hard to find the right one?
To be with the right one?
To have the right one?

Every time i have my eyes on someone
The world keeps telling me that he's not the one
That doesn't deserve me
That i don't deserve him

So who's this right one i deserve to be with?
The right one isn't the perfect, the good looking or the rich one
It is the match one

I definitely clearly know that God gives us what we need not what we want
But when will he give us what we deserve?
When will God give me what i deserve?

Now, all i can do is praying, hoping that someday this right one is sent to me somehow
Because that's what i should've done for long time
Because i'm tired of looking

What do you think? Well if you're saying that it's not poetry, GET OUT OF MY LIFE haha no! I was joking!
I'll take whatever compliment or critics you give me.
Anyway, i prefer write that in english because it's easier for me to write it down.

Thanks for reading, xoxo.